1. You've told countless other Americans that NO! you don't live in an igloo and neither do any of your neighbors.
2. You are surprised to hear that a moose was spotted wandering on the road just couple of kilometers from your house.
3. It catches you off guard when your kids end their recitation of the alphabet X Y ZED. (Don't they know that in America we say ZEE?)
4. You laugh when a friend asks you to grab the homo out of the fridge. After three years of living in Canada your first thought is still "why do they have a small gay man in the fridge?" not "yep, I'd be glad to get the whole milk of the fridge."
5. You spend way too much time planning what shoes you are going to wear to a party because when you get there your shoes will go into the pile with the shoes of all the other guests. (Canadians do not wear shoes in the house! But, they do have impeccably manicured toes!) It is not uncommon to actually trip on shoes when entering a party. Occupational hazard.
6. Your five year old knows all the words to Oh Canada! but looks at you like you are crazy when you ask him about the Star Spangled Banner.
7. You own a hockey net, several hockey sticks and street pucks but the neighbors laugh at you when you play with your kids.
8. You are the only adult at the rink wearing a full helmet, face guard, knee pads, elbow pads and padded suit while trying to teach your kid to skate. Adding insult to injury, most of the three year olds at the rink know how to skate better than you do.
9. You never understood why the snow was still piled high at the rec center in July until you saw the zamoni come out and dump its load! (This qualifies as an Oprah "Ah Ha!" moment.)
10. It ruins your entire week when you find out that Pottery Barn Kids does not ship to Canada. And let's not even talk about the fact that there is NO Target anywhere in this entire country!
11. Your friends cannot understand your infatuation with your alma mater. In fact, they tease you that they are surprised that we didn't name our kids after our alma mater. They think you are crazy when they learn that, in fact, Griffin is named after your alma mater.
12. You can't bring yourself to eat poutine. Who puts gravy and cheese curds on french fries anyway?
13. Your French accent is deplorable.
14. You have no idea what a tuque (pronouced tuke) is, but you know it must be something to do with winter because everyone talks about them.
And lastly, you might be an American living in Canada if you are offended when you go through the drivethrough at Starbucks and your three year old tells you, "Mommy, I don't like Staaaaa Bucks. I like Tim Hoooooooooooooowtons. I wanna go to Tim Hoooooooooooowtons."
LOL almost all of that could apply to an Australian living in Canada too! I totally understand!
Posted by: Kristy Atkinson | December 08, 2007 at 08:33 PM
I enjoyed reading your blog and getting to "know" your family in a more personal way. It is nice to read about a family really enjoying life. Life at your home is busy to say the very least. Thanks for sharing here.
Roberta
Posted by: Roberta | January 04, 2008 at 08:33 PM
WHAT! Poutine ROCKS! lol occupational hazrd of living in Quebec. But it needs to be the RIGHT kind ;) hahha, too funny! TFS!
Posted by: Andree | January 08, 2008 at 08:11 PM
ha ha
that is funny,
just reverse these and you have the makings of a canadian living in the US
(my story)
Don't forget about bunnyhugs aka hoodies in the US.
Posted by: kelly | January 14, 2008 at 06:16 AM
I want to express my admiration of your writing skill and ability to make readers read from the beginning to the end. I would like to read newer posts and to share my thoughts with you. Yeah
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